Ahem turns your real screen-time habits into sharp, app-specific roasts. It sees the patterns, names the problem, and says what your friends were too polite to say.
Real app roasts
Android only. iPhone users are safe for now.
Real app roasts
Explore More
Dig into the habits Ahem catches, how the app works, and what kind of screen-time spiral your phone has been trying not to mention.
Pattern Library
Explore the late-night, fake-productive, and shopping-heavy habits that Ahem turns into painfully specific roasts.
Product Guide
See how Android usage access, pattern detection, and server-side AI turn your phone habits into app-specific roasts.
Android Guide
Compare Ahem with a normal screen-time tracker and see why interpretation beats a generic dashboard.
FAQ
Read the quick answers on Android support, privacy, permissions, roast styles, and what data the app actually uses.